Broken
by Marx810
Summary: The Joker's abuse has finally pushed Harley to the brink of her already faulting sanity, forcing her to truly re-evaluate her relationship with the clown prince. Will she give into his most recent whims or will she have to face the realization that maybe not everyone can be saved? Rated M for language and violent content.


_(A/N: Okay, I know. I have a story named "Broken" and a story named "Damaged", but dammit, those titles both fit their respective stories. Anyway, I follow nebezial aka Stjepan Sejic on DeviantArt and he has this series of Harley comics that I fully suggest any fans of Harley read as they're totally awesome, but unfortunately he never finished them and doesn't have any desire to finish them, which makes me sad because they're really interesting but he's a busy dude and has his reasons. Anyway, he posted on his Twitter how the story would have ended and my fanfic sense started tingling and here we go. For those who are fans of The Harley Experiment, this is not in the same AU. Completely different story that's much darker in tone because it reflects the tone of the comic that inspired it. Even so this was a fun little one-shot and it was interesting exploring an even darker take on Harley and Joker's relationship. Oh, also, the cover pic is also done by said artist. Let me know what you think.)_

* * *

As Harley walked through the garden, her mind brought her back to the day that she first met Batman. She didn't know whether it was because he somehow knew that she'd specifically asked to treat The Joker or if Batman had seen something in the way she looked at the prisoner that made him offer her some advice.

"If you stare into the abyss too long, the abyss will stare back." He said. As if Batman of all people had any right to lecture her on corruption. A man who dresses as a bat and beats down the mentally ill. He probably didn't even see a human being when he looked through that cell. Just the same evil "monster" that everyone else wrote him off as. But Harley could see it even then.

There was a man behind those eyes. A broken man trapped in that abyss all alone who needed help, and not the kind that came from fists. Clearly that wasn't working. Maybe someone should explain Einstein's definition of insanity to Batman. But Harley had more important things to do. If no one else would see the brilliance and humanity in this man, then she would.

That said, Harley would be the first to admit that falling for him wasn't the best idea. But she couldn't control her feelings. And she tried! Lord knows she tried, but her heart and…other parts of her…just wouldn't play ball with her mind. It worked out better this way anyhow. She had a vested interest in saving him, in pulling him up from the darkness.

Unfortunately, talking just…wasn't enough. To pull him from the darkness, to make him see that there was redemption even for him, she had to go further into her own darkness. She had to embrace all those dark impulses that you tell yourself that you don't have because you're a "good person". She had to embrace the fact that a part of her enjoyed the freedom. That at some level, the horrible things she did in his name were fun.

But as much as she wished it to be, it wasn't all fun. Some women explain their bruises with having fallen a lot. With her, it was Batman. She had a black eye because she fought Batman. Batman was the reason she seemed a little paranoid of sudden movements sometimes. It was an easy enough story to make. She did fight Batman a lot, so it wasn't that hard to believe for the few people who would care, and could still make out the evidence through the face paint. Poison Ivy was the only one who never bought it.

As Harley passed a rose bush, the red in the flowers made her think of her boyfriend's fury. There were plenty of times when Joker would give her a look, usually with his hand around her throat, and she'd be sure that this was it. He was going to kill her and prove right everyone who told her how dangerous he was and how stupid she was for staying with him. And every time she got out of those situations, she would tell herself that maybe they _were_ right. Maybe all the effort she was putting into saving him was pointless. But then she'd look into his eyes and see that broken man again and she'd stay with him.

"Just a little bit more. A little deeper." She'd tell herself as she was forced more and more into the abyss. Being abused, humiliated or just simply having to do unspeakable acts to others to keep his approval. It became about survival and the monstrous things Harley would do for self-preservation. She didn't even know where the love began and the fear ended anymore. She would just react. But everything she did was still for that broken man that she desperately wanted to save and while she was at it, hopefully the broken woman she had become as well.

But there were good times. And there were bad times. And there were…very bad times. But they were necessary. If she kept trying, eventually she'd get through to him. He'd see how much she loved him and he'd let her lead him back. It was just a matter of time. She'd thought that she'd finally reached it this morning.

Harley knew Joker's smiles. This one wasn't a humorous one. He wanted to have a serious conversation. A conversation about their relationship and his feelings for her. He even said how much he cared about her, but that there was something in the way, some _one._ And when this person was gone, he could allow himself to feel what he felt. They could be together. They could be happy.

Harley knew what he was going to say. To most people, telling Harley to kill Batman was just another manipulation. But they didn't understand the symbolism. Batman was _Joker's_ kill. The only reason he allowed others to try is because he didn't think they'd succeed and it made Batman better. He was actually letting Harley try to take out his most prized possession. She was elated…ecstatic. But…then…that all went away…because Batman wasn't the name that Joker said.

Harley had finally made it to her destination. Inside of the greenhouse, Pamela Isley, also known as Poison Ivy was tending to the plants. It was almost like a dance as she moved her hands and the plants grew, responding to her elegant movements. It had always brought a smile to her face watching Pamela in her element. She knew who she was, and she knew who she loved…and they loved her back. It was so simple. She wanted to smile this time too, but the jester had no smiles left.

Ivy looked up as she heard the gun cock. She'd clearly known Harley was there but obviously wasn't expecting an attack. You could almost see the thoughts going through her mind. Was Harley a shapeshifter? Was this an odd prank? Mind control? But the tears streaming down Harley's cheeks and the way she trembled as she moved her finger on the trigger told her everything she needed to know. "He put you up to this, didn't he?"

Harley didn't deny it. She tried to fight the tears back. They were messing up her vision. "I _have_ to, Red… He…he said that you had feelings for me and…and that our friendship was putting a wall between what me and Mistah J could have…and…and…"

"Is that even a real gun?" Ivy sighed, her calm demeanor contrasting heavily to Harley's, who seemed to be barely holding it together. Her eyes bulged slightly as a bullet whizzed past her hair.

"It's real…" Harley choked out. "I'm so…so sorry Red…"

Ivy gave Harley a skeptical look. "Funny. Normally if you're going to kill someone, especially someone like _me_ , you wouldn't bother with a warning shot when my guard is clearly down."

"Stop making fun of me!" Harley shrieked, momentarily waving her gun around wildly before remembering the reason she had it and regaining her aim. "This is serious! I'm not joking!"

Ivy sighed again, her eyes narrowing. "You don't _have_ to do this, you know."

"Yes, I do! I have to, Red! I _have to_!" And Harley moved to squeeze the trigger again.

"So be it." Ivy stated, quickly moving her hand as vines shot up all around her and darted towards Harley. Harley's gun clattered noisily on the floor and the confrontation was over.

Harley's eyes were shut tight as she felt something tugging on her hair. When she opened her eyes, curious why she was still alive, she saw the vines putting another short vine of blue orchids into place, weaving them into her hair.

"I thought the blue brought out your eyes." Ivy commented, walking closer. "Interesting murder method, by the way. Do you always drop your weapon when your target attacks you? You'd make someone think you wanted to die or something."

"Pamela…" Harley whimpered weakly, unable to hold it together anymore. Her body just couldn't take anymore as she sank down and Ivy was there to catch her.

"Shhh…" Ivy held Harley's crying form against her chest, gently petting her head as the jester loudly sobbed. "You don't need to talk. Just let it out. I'm here."

Harley didn't need the encouragement. She was already bawling her eyes out. Her walls were down and her emotions were overflowing so crying was all she had left. No words. Just tears. Ivy didn't say anything either. She just held her friend and soothed her as much as she could with her presence. And it wasn't like she didn't have options. Harley was sure that if Ivy wanted, she could have had some kind of Carnation or something that would have made Harley downright giddy. But instead, she was just there for her.

Harley had no clue how long she'd been crying, but eventually she was all sobbed out and just let Ivy hold her in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence either. It was just…comfortable. It almost made her feel worse. The Joker had almost _never_ made her feel this…at ease…safe…cared for…loved… And yet, she _had_ considered killing Ivy before realizing she'd rather go through the motions and die.

"Harl…I…you…you do know that he drew a line in the sand this time, right?" Ivy asked, running her fingers through Harley's hair. "And you just went on the other side."

"…yeah…" Harley choked out.

"And you know that…well…Harley you know I try to stay out of this, but you do know you can't go back to him now, right?" Ivy asked sternly.

"I have to go back, Red…" Harley sighed, with an air of finality.

There was an awkward pause this time, the two women just staring at each other. "…okay…and you know that you can't just…break up with him?"

Harley looked down, deflated. "I know. I have to kill him. Or he'll kill me…"

Ivy seemed to let out the most relieved sigh of her life, going back to petting Harley's hair. "I could kill him for you, you know." She offered.

Harley smiled softly and shook her head. "No. I appreciate the offer but…it's my fight…"

Ivy nodded. "I understand. And speaking of fight, you know he won't fight fair. Part of him must be preparing for you not killing me."

"Yeah…knowing my luck, I'll probably take him out, just to die from some Joker gas or something after the fact." Harley rolled her eyes.

Ivy grinned widely, tilting Harley's head to face her. "I might have a solution for that. I've been working on…something."

Harley narrowed her eyes slightly. "Something?"

Ivy held out her hand and a vine dropped a vial of green liquid between her fingers. "Do you trust me?"

Harley took the vial and immediately downed it.

Ivy's eyes widened and she almost facepalmed herself. "Harley…that _was_ what I wanted you to do but…what if that had been poison for him?"

Harley shrugged. "Then you wouldn't have let me drink it."

"I guess I can't argue with that logic." Ivy chuckled, watching Harley intently.

Harley began to giggle uncontrollably, looking somewhat dazed. "What was in that stuff? You drugged me?"

Ivy chuckled and shook her head. "Somewhat, but what's happening to your body would have been painful otherwise. I figured you've gone through enough pain."

"What's happening to my body?" Harley asked, looking at her hands and waving them from side to side.

"I'm restructuring your DNA. Making some…advancements your ex won't see coming."

"Will I be able to control plants?" Harley asked with a wide, far off smile.

"No…" Ivy smirked. "Even if I could give you a connection to the Green, I don't think it would…suit you. You should be feeling normal now."

Harley's odd smile began to fade as her emotions slowly returned to their previous state. "Well…I wouldn't say…normal… I guess it worked?"

Ivy smiled from ear to ear. "Let's see." Leaning forward, Ivy pressed her lips to Harley's, moaning softly.

Harley was surprised at the sudden action at first but quickly reciprocated the affection. It was more intense than she was expecting. It was like she could feel every subtle movement of Ivy's lips, every taste bud on her tongue as it went between Harley's lips, every scent, every taste. It was like no kiss she'd ever had, and this was _far_ from the first time she and Ivy had kissed.

And then she felt it. It was like a mist or a drizzle that escaped from the pores of Ivy's lips. The moment it hit her, Harley's snapped her head back in shock, feeling the effects. "Did…you just poison me?

Ivy flashed her friend a wink. "You look fine to me…"

"I… _felt_ it…" Harley mumbled, licking her lips.

"That's because I _did_ poison you." Ivy leaned back, confidently. "But my poisons don't work on you anymore. And neither will Joker's. But wait, there's _more_."

"There's more?" Harley asked curiously, her vision taking note that Ivy was moving away from her. By the time she registered the ominous nature of this, it was too late and a large shadow loomed above her. Harley jumped out of the way of the large, vine covered rock. "Geeze! That's the second time you've tried to kill me in like…a minute."

Ivy grinned, looking up at the very high tree branch that Harley was perched on. "You weren't in any actual danger. Look where you are."

Harley's eyes widened as she saw what Ivy was talking about and got the significance of the attack. As soon as the epiphany hit her, she hopped off the tall branch and began to do a series of flips and somersaults to gauge her new limits. "This is so awesome, Red! They're bouncy, pouncy, bouncy, pouncy, fun fun fun fun fun! But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is I'm the only one!"

Ivy chuckled slighty as she watched Harley stretch her legs. "You're stronger, faster, more agile. You even heal a little faster. And as I showed you, poison doesn't really affect you anymore. I'm sure the clown won't be expecting any of that."

Harley landed in front of Ivy, slightly winded and gave her a tight hug. "It's amazing, Pam. How long does it last?"

Ivy blinked in surprise. "Last? I changed your DNA Harley. It's permanent. I assumed you wouldn't mind."

Harley's eyes bulged as she looked at her hands with new understanding, a grin appearing on her face and just as quickly disappearing.

"Did…did I assume incorrectly?" Ivy's confident expression faltered for the first time.

"No…it's just…" Harley sighed, looking off into the distance. "I was remembering something. Mistah J…he…he always liked the circus. He's waiting there for me at one now. And…when we went to this one before…there was this…strong man. Muscle built upon muscle kinda guy, you know what I mean? And he had this hammer that no one could lift but him. And even then, he had to struggle to lift it. So…Mistah J, he looked at the hammer and grinned at me and asked me to lift the hammer for him. I laughed. I thought he was joking, because…Joker, right? But…he was serious. He said that love makes you strong. If I really loved him then I'd be able to lift the hammer."

"Oh God…" Ivy groaned, seeing where this story was going.

Harley's eyes began to water, her voice quivering as she continued, "I…I tried…so _hard_ to lift that hammer. And…and Mistah J…he just laughed at me and…called people over saying 'Watch! She's going to prove her love to me by lifting this hammer! Just you watch! It's going to be amazing!' and he just laughed and laughed and everyone joined in and…I just…I don't remember passing out, but I did and my arms hurt so bad and the first thing I saw when I woke up was Mistah J smiling down at me and he told me is was okay, maybe one day I'd love him as much as he loved me, 'Keep at it, kid. Your weakness makes you cute.' And…I felt so…shitty and so…good at the same time…-"

"And let me guess. He never lifted the hammer either?" Ivy gave Harley a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"Of course not. His love was never up for question." Harley choked out.

"Well Harley. You _are_ strong. And not just because of the serum. You just don't have the best taste in men, that's all." Ivy flashed Harley a smile.

"You can say that again." Harley forced out a small chuckle. "I…really do love him, you know… Even after all this I can't…turn it off…"

"I know you love him. It's the only thing that kept me from killing him, myself." Ivy admitted. "So, go and show him that he's not worthy of it."

"You're the best, Red." Harley pulled Ivy into a tight embrace before taking off. "I've got a clown to kill!"

"Get him, girl!" Ivy smiled, giving no indication of how damn painful that hug had been. Had she been a normal human, it might have broken a rib or so. And the thought of what she was going to do to the Joker with that new strength just made her smile even more.

* * *

Like the Joker, Harley did actually love the circus. It was something that on the whole, made her feel happy and childlike. It was a primal nostalgic feeling. Being there would have been fun under almost any other circumstance but that seemed to be par for the course tonight. Everything she seemed to do now had a negative connotation to itself. Even her costume, something she usually wore with such pride just felt heavy and awkward and…sad… One way or another this would be the last time she would wear it. Harley Quinn was the Joker's creation and either she'd die when he did or she'd just die. Hopefully it would be the former. Be a shame if Ivy went through all that effort for nothing. Not to mention, Harley's own little preparations for this night before she found him.

Harley headed for the big top. It tended to be where Joker would hang out. He loved the attention. The flamboyance. Being center stage, even without an audience. And surely enough, when Harley entered the tent, there was a spotlight shining down on the Joker, who was sitting in silence, writing on a piece of paper. He was probably pondering his next Batman plan. That was one thing most people got wrong about him. They just thought that he just did whatever came to mind and adapted to changes on the fly because he was insane. While he was good at adapting to things, there was always a plan.

As Harley walked down the stairs, Joker's head lifted and he grinned in her direction. "Harley, is that you? Come come! I need to talk to you."

"Sure sure, Mister J. I'm coming." It took Harley a second to realize why Joker gave her such a curious look after that sentence. She wasn't bothering with her accent anymore. She was speaking in her normal, Harleen Quinzel voice. She was tempted to correct that and go back to the bubbly, squeaky voice that he seemed to respond to much better with but…she just didn't care enough. There were just too many emotions. Her focus was needed elsewhere.

"Harley…" Joker frowned, shaking his head with a tut, putting the papers he was working with on the ground. "I owe you an apology."

Harley's head immediately shot up. "Wha…?"

Joker nodded. "I realized how unfair I was to you as soon as you left. I never should have asked you to kill your…friend. It was selfish and cruel. And while I may be perfect examples of both…you deserve better. I mean…you still love me, right?"

"Of…of course I do…" Harley answered, feeling like she was being lured in. This is what happened before, only Joker wasn't even putting forth a fake smile this time. It was throwing her off.

"Thank you, Harley. You're always so patient with me. I don't know what I did to deserve it. You…didn't go through with it, right?" The Joker asked, almost somberly.

"N…no, Puddin… I…I couldn't…" Harley stammered out.

Joker nodded, letting out a sigh of relief. His eyes dropped to the floor in a sadness that Harley had rarely seen. It made her want to just embrace him and tell him everything would be alright. The broken man she wanted to save wasn't just in his eyes now. It was at the forefront. "Thank goodness… That's…that's why I need you, Harley. You keep me straight. You keep me from going too far. You know me… I know I make things…difficult…for you, but I do try. I really do… I know what killing her would have done to you… You know that I'd never hurt you… No…that's a lie…I hurt you all the time… I'm a horrible person…"

Harley couldn't believe her ears. She couldn't believe her eyes either for that matter. She tried to force herself not to believe it. Had the Joker actually reached rock bottom? Was he finally…truly…at a place where she could help him? She'd believed this before and it had all been lies but now…she was looking at it. It was right there, in front of her face. He needed her. Or this could be a trap. She had to keep that in mind. Joker was fully capable of just telling her what she wanted to hear so she'd let her guard down. But she couldn't help it. That little bit of hope in her heart fluttered and she ran to embrace him. "It's okay, Puddin. I'm here. You know I'm always-…" She hadn't planned to do it, but the paper that Joker had been writing on was right there in her vision and she glanced. And on that paper was everything that the Joker had just said, starting with 'Come come! I need to talk to you!' Word for word.

That was when Harley felt the sharp pain in her side as the blade penetrated her skin, forcing out a pained gasp as she heard the clown prince of crime speak. "I know, Sweetheart. I know. I missed my calling! I was always made for showbiz! But you know me! All about the fun! But fun aside, I do have a heart, Harley. And you broke that heart by not killing one…little…person. And there's a price to pay for breaking my heart, Harley… Heh…heh…ha ha….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

Harley staggered back, feeling the blade Joker had used slide back out of her, as she put her hand over the wound and looking back at him. The stabbing wound was nothing compare to how she felt inside. He knew what she'd wanted from him. He knew this entire time and he just…dragged her along, knowing that he'd never change. They were right. Batman was right. Pamela was right. Hell…Penguin was right. He was beyond saving and she'd been wasting her life with him. She'd been so stupid. As she looked into his eyes, she now saw her killer. Her smiling, laughing killer. She was no longer useful to him so he was just going to toss her away. Or worse, he'd just torture her endlessly until she'd do what he wanted. She'd seen him do it before. Not even for information. Just because he liked to hear the screams and it amused him to see what people would do to get the pain to stop. Her body was shouting over and over at her to do one thing. Run. Run right fucking now.

"Harley…come back! I'm not done with you yet! You didn't let me finish! When you break my heart, that means I get to break yours!" The Joker taunted as he chased after her. She had a small lead on him but the glorious thing about Harley's costume were her boots. That lovely clacking across the ground made it so easy to find her. Well…that and the blood. Between the both of them, the Joker didn't even really have to run. But he did, anyway. He wanted her to know how close she was to death, literally and figuratively. He could hear her panting now. Her pathetic little sobs. He closed the distance through the distance as he saw her staggering into a nearby building. Oh…oh this was better than he could have planned.

The Joker ran into the building with a huge smile to find Harley waiting for him in the adjoining room. He stopped in his tracks, his smile immediately fading.

"You were right, Mistah J." Harley grinned back, brandishing her 'Harley' voice once more and looking at him through the glass. The stabbing wound was still bleeding a little but it barely even bothered her anymore. But what had wiped the smile off the Joker's face was that on the other side of that glass, Harley was holding a very familiar hammer. "I guess I love you enough now. Come on through that door, Puddin. Let Mama show how much she loves you."

The Joker's eyes bulged in fear but then his usual grin quickly returned as he pressed a button on the console behind him, which shut the door that Harley had motioned to, closing her off in the room. "You always thought you were smarter than you actually were, Harl. Why would I go in that room, of all rooms, when I could just close the door and gas you? Idiot." And pressing another button on the console, green gas began to fill the room. Soon Harley wasn't visible anymore, but he could hear her laughter. How apropos. Harley would die with a stab wound in her side and a smile on her face. He laughed right with her and waited for hers to cease and only then did he press the button to eject the gas. "Oh Harley, Harley, Harl-"

Harley hadn't budged from where she'd been standing. The only change had been that she was now holding the hammer one handed. Lifting it up, she threw it at the glass, easily shattering it and watching as it collided with the Joker, slamming him into the wall. Harley took her time, stepping through the hole the hammer had made and walking to her extremely heavy weapon and lifted it once more. Harley cocked her head to the side, watching as the Joker clutched his ribs, and wheezed painfully, blood dripping from his mouth. "You want to know what's really funny, Puddin? Remember when I told you that the acid flower was a really nice touch, but it was too dangerous because if you got hit hard enough in the chest, the acid container might rupture?"

The Joker wheezed again and looked up wide eyed at Harley as his body began to convulse as the new pain started to hit him as an area of his suit around his right breast pocket began to start smoking. He let out a barely comprehensive sound which was immediately taken away by a fit of couching.

"If you're expecting your men to find you, I wouldn't. I paid them off. You see…the only reason your minions are loyal to you is because they don't want to die. Which is funny because out of everyone in Gotham…you're the most likely to kill your goons for no reason. But don't worry. I know you better than to just leave you alone like this." Harley raised the hammer and brought it down on the Joker's legs. He unleashed an ear-piercing shriek of pain as the bones shattered, followed by another bloody cough, his skin almost visible now as the acid continued to burn through both the suit and himself.

Harley raised the hammer again, using one of her legs to spread one of his arms, bringing it down once more to another scream. "One more to go, Puddin. Heh, it's kinda like Misery, isn't it? You always liked that movie."

"H…Harley…please…" Joker choked out.

Harley was already positioning his other arm, and brought the hammer down hard, one final time. "There there, Mistah J. Now it's-" Harley's eyes bulged as she looked over the Joker's mangled body as she leaned against the handle of her hammer. The realization hit her harder than anything she'd just done to her ex. And there was only one reaction that seemed appropriate. She laughed. She laughed and laughed and laughed until it hurt as the Joker sucked in his last couple of pained breaths.

"….what's…the….joke…?" The Joker choked out, sure that these would be his last words.

Harley was almost tempted to let him die without explaining it. But even after everything he'd done to her, she couldn't be quite that cruel. She grinned down at him, but there was no happiness behind it. She was in more pain than she could have imagined. Her eyes were so blurry with tears that she could barely even make the Joker out anymore, but she curbed her laughter and crying enough to explain, "Because…you're broken, Mistah J… You're broken and…I can't fix you…"

The Joker let out two chuckles before the coughing started again. Harley removed her jester cap and mask, hanging them on the handle of the hammer and turned around and walked away, turning off the lights and leaving the broken man alone in the abyss.


End file.
